Livin’ On a Dollar and a Dream…

Broken, but I patch up my loose seams,
living on a dollar and a dream.
I wear my shoes till the soles have quarter size holes,
pride buried deep in my throat.
I feel the ground as I walk, it humbles me.
Beggars stand on corners begging for change, I oblige their pleas.
Who am I to tell them no, when i feel their pain?
Helpless, so helplessly dwelling in my own self pity and reverie schemes.
Fighting off demons that seep through the speaker of my phone, eyes wide shut yet seen.
Living on a dollar, while dreaming of bliss.
I can be more, i know this
better than i know the basics of a coin tossed wish.
I erase my struggle with every pen stroke.
Writing my story different , hanging from my family tree, while holding onto hope.
“I dont need you,” i say to myself, struggling with the rope I placed on myself.
Yet still they pull me up swiftly, they wont let me pretend.
“I dont need you,” i say again.
Knowing its a lie,
knowing without family ,
my life would be even harder than any would wish to know.
They stand beside me when it matters, they forgive my many flaws and faults.
So i forgive theirs, fore we are all standing on the edge of insanity.
We rather hold onto another, to soften the fall than to let go,
but like a bird i can only spread my wings if i jump.
So that i can soar, only to return home to build and water our tree stump.
Cant say that for the rest of the world,
ive met people who want to squeeze me till there’s nothing left.
Taking from me, while complimenting me, confusing my inner depths.
People who told me the ones i love don’t love me enough,
alienating my trust so that they can control my thoughts of love.
i acknowledged what they were to me, and had to separate myself in order to keep myself clean.
Only few know what its means to love without condition, only few have had that love.
The kind of love that comes with time, the kind of love that never hurts, but only heals wounds and fulfills your needs to be alive.
Yes, alive without the need of pain to feel something.
Living on a dollar and a dream.

Just to believe in something…

J. Peters🦋

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